Torn Up Inside

Confusion exploding, my mind’s a mess
I’m lost to you all, curled up inside my head
Can’t make my fear, uncertainty known
Then I’d be weak, my vulnerability shown.

Sleep doesn’t come so easily anymore
Unclear thoughts and worries plague my consciousness
I can’t understand what I should do
Make amends, or break cleanly away.

Tears threaten to spill down my face,
in this public place
My problems out on display,
for all of them to see.

The fear of scorn for my uncontrolled emotion
The exploitation of my tears is imminent.

It’s not my fault,
I know that intellectually
My heart is not so certain.
If I’d kept my mouth shut would this have taken place
Could things have worked out, had I not spoken up?

I just don’t know what to do,
Having no one to talk to
It seems as though no one cares.
I’m expendable, my feelings defunct

I know this isn’t true but,
My heart aches with the possibility
I feel needy and unlikable,
A hot mess if you will.

I hate this nobody likes me,
Everybody hates me,
Guess I’ll go eat worms mentality.
The poor me! Attitude I’ve had
Makes me sick of myself.





-Stephanie Dalen